Dear Younger Me,

Focus on Your Lane

Dear Younger Me,

I see you scrolling.

Watching her launch that business, seeing his promotion announcement, noticing their engagement photos, observing her flawless skin, and her seemingly effortless success.

I also see what’s happening inside you as you watch.

That quiet voice whispering “Why not me?“ with you feeling like you’re falling behind in a race you didn’t even know you were running.

You’re measuring your worth by someone else’s highlight reel.

You’re judging your behind-the-scenes by their carefully curated video content.

You’re comparing your chapter three to someone else’s chapter twenty.

But let me tell you what I wish someone had told me about comparison earlier:

The person you’re comparing yourself to? You’re only seeing what they want you to see.

That influencer who seems to have it all figured out? You don’t see:

How many times she’s failed before this success

The support system and connections that gave her a head start

The sacrifices she made that you wouldn’t be willing to make

Everyone is showing you their best. No one is posting their breakdowns, their failures, or their doubts at 2am.

One thing comparison does is that it steals your joy because you make progress but it feels insignificant because someone else is further ahead.

You accomplish something but instead of celebrating, you’re already looking at who’s doing it better and downplaying your achievement.

I want you to understand that everyone’s timeline is different.

Your life is not meant to look like anyone else’s. You’re on a different path, with different lessons to learn, different experiences to have, and different preparation for what’s ahead.

So, stop judging yourself for not being where someone else is.

Also, that someone else is winning does not mean you’re losing.

There’s enough room for everyone to succeed. Her success doesn’t block yours. In fact, it should encourage you, it’s proof that what you’re dreaming of is possible.

So, what if you took all that energy you’re using to scroll, compare, and feel inadequate and redirected it into learning that skill, starting that project, taking that risk, pursuing that dream?

Compare yourself to who you were last year, last month, last week.

Are you growing? Learning? Improving? Becoming?

Because, that’s what really matters.

Learn to celebrate your progress, even if it looks small compared to someone else’s.

You read one book this month? That’s growth.

You saved 10,000 naira? That’s progress.

You showed up even when you didn’t feel like it? That’s discipline.

If scrolling through someone’s page makes you feel inadequate you could unfollow or take a break but ultimately, deal with that mentality that thinks someone else’s success is a threat to yours.

Again, there’s room for everyone to succeed.

Follow people who inspire you without making you feel less than; people who remind you of your potential instead of highlighting your lack.

One thing I’ve learnt to do overtime, is to genuinely celebrate other people’s wins because the more you celebrate other people’s wins, the less comparison has power over you.

As early as possible, get clear on YOUR vision because you can’t compare yourself to others when you’re crystal clear on where you’re going.

When you know your destination, other people’s journeys stop distracting you. You’re not competing with them because you’re not even on the same path.

From where I’m standing, here’s what I can see that you can’t yet:

Your worth is not determined by how you measure up to others. You are valuable because God made you. Because you’re here, with a purpose, with gifts, and a story only you can tell.

The best things in your life will come from staying in your lane. Not from chasing someone else’s path or from copying their strategy.

So run your race. At your pace. In your lane.

With Love,

The woman you are becoming

P.S. — That person you’re comparing yourself to right now? Stop the comparison, take a pause and ask yourself: “What’s one thing I can do today to invest in MY potential?” Then go do that instead.

By Abigail For The IHA Team

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